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My sister has not been diagnosed

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CatWallace
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Posts: 10
Joined: 03 Apr 2012
Relationship: Sibling (brother, sister)
gender: female
Region: Vancouver Island, BC
City or Region: Victoria

Re: My sister has not been diagnosed

Unread postby CatWallace » 13 May 2012

I'm a little upset and I just need to vent to someone who knows what I'm going through. Two weeks ago, my parents and I saw a counsellor who specializes in people with mental illnesses. Mom and Dad agreed that my sister was ill and that we have to stay away from her for a bit.
Well last week I reluctantly went to see my sister's counsellor with my parents. After seeing her, my parents went back to thinking that my sister isn't ill, that she's just angry. They spent a lovely evening with her yesterday, took the dogs over to see her, then dropped them off home at 9:30 and went back to her place. This is after she emailed Mom saying, 'Can I pick up the dogs tomorrow to take them out for a walk? You can just have them at the door. [u]Hope you are all relieved that I don't have a mental illness[/u]'.
She tells my parents that she's really happy and that our little bird is doing great! In a way I am relieved to hear that our little bird is O.K., but I know that my sister doesn't feel this way. She just wants me to know that now that she's not mentally ill, that I'm the one, that's she's doing great and so if our little bird who's used to living with our other birds and has emotional issues himself.
So today, Mother's Day. I gave Mom her gift and card and made plans to go to a garden nursery, then to pick up something for dinner. I got upstairs a couple of hours later to find out that my sister has just called and wants to come over here for Mother's Day. I get upset as she always does this last minute stuff and when she does involved herself with my parents again, it disrupts my time with them, disrupts their time. So I vent to them, get a little teary-eyed and upset. I go downstairs, calm a little and go back upstairs. I say that it is Mother's Day, that this is a day for Mom, and that she can do anything that she wants. If she wants to go out with me, that's fine. If she wants to do nothing today, that's O.K. If she wants my sister to come over or if she wants to go out with her, that's O.K. I go to tell Dad but I add that I still believe what the other professionals told us about her being mentally ill. I don't believe that my sister's counsellor is right and now my sister thinks that she is fine and that I'm the one who is ill. That part is O.K. for me, I can't change the way that she thinks, but I am just so upset that she's not going to get the help that she needs. I'm a little upset and I just need to vent to someone who knows what I'm going through.
I felt that we were so close in her getting that help. But now my parents are going to be seeing her again, she's possibly going to be coming back over here, leaving our little bird all alone. I'm just spent. I am so tired of this drama. So even though I'm pretending to Mom and Dad that whatever they do will be O.K. with me, deep down I feel that we have taken that giant step back to my sister's recovery.
I know that I am not supposed to allow her to affect me, but when I felt that my family was so close to all getting better, it no longer feels like that to me. This counsellor of hers isn't equipped to deal with her, even though she brags of being in the business for over 30 years and that she is the one responsible for telling my sister that our little bird would be just fine with her. This woman knows nothing of birds, let alone him.
I'm just sad and frustrated. I know that I will eventually get over this, but it's taking longer than I thought.
It feels that when we start heading towards a healing, we go backwards.
Cat

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AndrewBCSS
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Re: My sister has not been diagnosed

Unread postby AndrewBCSS » 13 Jun 2012

Hi Cat,

Your sister is an adult, and so are you. Your parents are also adults. Something I believe strongly is that we can't change other people, and the best way to have impact on the world and our own lives is to look after our own responsibilities first. I personally find that a relief, to be able to do something that I actually have some control over.

My advice to you would be to put most of your energy into finding a support group or therapy and look after your own health and healing, and try and let go of thinking of your sister and parents and what they do and say for awhile. It sounds like your sister and parents are trying to find help, and will probably continue to do that whether you're involved or not. Instead, do things that make you feel calm, healthy and relaxed, like eating healthily, getting enough sleep and exercise, going for a walk somewhere nice. It seems simple, but these things actually work. Hang out with friends who have calm lives and do fun things. It may be very helpful to have a rest. Your sister and parents will probably sort things out on their own. If you focus on looking after your own self, you will likely feel less upset and be better able to handle things if they get chaotic.

Just a thought,
Sophia
___________________
Andrew Stewart
Operations Manager
British Columbia Schizophrenia Society
A reason to hope. The means to cope.
www.bcss.org

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CatWallace
Regular Poster
Posts: 10
Joined: 03 Apr 2012
Relationship: Sibling (brother, sister)
gender: female
Region: Vancouver Island, BC
City or Region: Victoria

Re: My sister has not been diagnosed

Unread postby CatWallace » 04 Mar 2013

Hi Sophia,
I know that I can telephone someone but I find myself crying and unable to speak. My mother and I finally saw a psychiatrist today. We told him our story. He said that because of our strong family history of schizophrenia and my sisters' symptoms, that there is a very strong possibility that she has schizophrenia.
We went through Victoria Mental Health (VIHA). This Doctor told us that he is making a report and notifying like a triage group? They will contact us to help us take the next step. I really don't know what that next step is, but I do know that we can go to family court and have a judge sign a form asking for the authorities to take my sister in to see a Doctor (involuntary).
Things have deteriorated even more with our physical and emotional health. We've hit rock bottom. But my sister is still coming into our home. She has found another place to live but now wants additional things of hers. Problem is, is that our two storage rooms, part of my kitchen and her bedroom are full of 'hoarded' items. You can't walk into a room. This to me means that she's going to be here for a long time getting her things and I am too ill to leave the house longer periods of time. But I feel the intense need to be away from her when she does come. I'm horribly anxious about this.
I'm just really needing to vent, so I thank you for allowing me to do this.
Cat


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