Hello, all. I'm new here. My mother has schizophrenia. She's untreated, in her early 70s, paranoid, and has never been open to recovery. For the most part, she is harmless, but there is a side of her that is very angry and aggressive. I think it's a mix of her own frustrations for having lost her dreams of family and career. When she says something inappropriate or mean, I shy away from confronting her because I'm afraid of what I might trigger (she can be quite nasty).
As a result, I pulled away for many years. I'm in my early 40s and I've developed a safe, full, and healthy lifestyle. I would like to reestablish a relationship with her. Every time I try, it goes well for a little while and then she'll start giving little, and not so little digs. This is very difficult for me. In any other area of my life, I don't take abusive or demeaning behavior. I know she's lonely, deeply saddened by not having the relationships with her children that she wanted to have, and I love her. I don't to pull away, I don't want her to be alone, but I can't take abusive behavior.
I should mention that when I was younger, we tried on several occasions to get her treatment. All unsuccessful, and all very traumatic for her (and everybody involved).
Is there a good way of confronting and modifying behavior in someone who is untreated?